The word "victim" links in the first level of meaning a very serious background. So you can be the victim of a violent crime, natural disaster or accident victims. In a victim can understand a charitable gift, something under waiver given. In chess this is called a figure on which to dispense, for strategic reasons.
understood in the language of youth is often victims of abuse, to name a particular practice. This paper is about a specific species, if people make themselves the victim of abuse. For purposes of individual self-published facts be bent, that give people the impression of being victims of certain situations, other people or certain circumstances. To the alleged victim to do it. The cynical or unconsciously use the aura of the victim in order to achieve objectives. And with that act tough in their environment. Often without the loved ones are even aware of this fact properly.
The circulation of the alleged victim fails
something. So therefore a search of abstract or very concrete culprit. This "scapegoat" one can transfer the responsibility. This allows the person to whom a certain thing does not succeed, take the role of innocent victim. He can complain without any self criticism, have any guilt. It formed a circle of listeners who listen with understanding the alleged victim. It is pity and give him encouragement. A pleasant side effect for the alleged victim. Because it gets lots of attention, help and understanding undeserved. The contribution and their own errors are seen in relation to the failed cause nor understood. It can not be learned how such a thing could be done better in the future. Thus, the problem continues. And the cycle begins again with the situation that the case does not succeed again.
use also alleged victim like anonymous forces, failed to justify things. It was then that fate no different. Or it should just not be, they just had bad luck. The system is at fault, the sign or the stars themselves were unfavorable. Once popular scapegoats individuals from the family or peer group are named. The weather, too much stress, lack of time, the addiction, one's temperament, physical suffering top the charts of the most popular excuses for victims stories.
Alleged victims simply push responsibility away
error, from which one can not learn, like a red thread through all of life draw. Sun nerve alleged victim not only their environment. In principle, they increase steadily through the automatic repetition of preventable errors their suffering. And the process is increasingly unconsciously. An automatic finds its way in breaking through that one like a vicious circle must.
But is the convenience for the alleged victim not to be underestimated. Although they repeat their mistakes again, but they always get attention again with their tales of woe. Cherished self-pity, which they do not like to do without. Only when alleged victims finally have the courage, the causes for the failure of certain things and finally to himself search, they have a chance for a fresh start. Come to the designated behaviors still a good dose of stubbornness and intransigence leaves, the encrustation of such courses of action still hardly stop.
dealing with alleged victims
If you have an alleged victim in his immediate environment, it is said to practice a certain serenity. In principle, a healthy distance is best to be unnecessarily involved in this cycle of perpetual failure. If this is a really close to them, would be an honest word for the best. But you have to reckon with violent resistance. It quickly becomes well-intentioned advice to the occasion, even as a scapegoat to have to serve. This therefore does not exert too much alleged victim, it is better to maintain a certain distance. In order not to fall even this self-deception. Or only to be used so that the alleged victim wishes to continue to press for every responsibility.
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