violence in relationships is a topic that is unfortunately all too often silenced and suppressed. In more than 80 percent of all cases according to statistical surveys, women victims of physical violent attacks.
As part of mental cruelty, the gender distribution has probably more balanced. Clear evidence and reliable scientific results are the subject of study only marginally present. The cause lies in the fact that such situations will not often spoken for years. They are suffering in silence.
people are embarrassed to be affected by this situation. And the perpetrators in most cases no distinct sense of wrongdoing. Perceive their actions as appropriate. Keep their behavior as normal and give your partner the most to blame for the escalation of simmering.
Where does spiritual violence in relationships?
Every human relationship develops over time its own momentum. In the most positive case provides a stable and harmonious relationship and mutual stabilization sufficient space to process and personal development and conflict productively. Mutual respect, trust, respect and loving care are the main components. Love is not just a word. Love must be lived, so it's not just a fleeting feeling that suffocated in time.
Many relationships begin in a hormone rush to the emotional world. The partners are intoxicated by the mutual attraction, the journey of discovery, the New and the exciting of the happiness of blissful togetherness. The partner is often idealized and very high expectations and entitlement can overshadow the further development of the relationship quickly.
realisitsche absent from the view of the partner from the beginning, the foundation for moral violence already fundamentiert. An idealized partner to meet a particular dream, can not meet this requirement in the long run. Lack of real self - and assessment, tolerance, compromise and get healthy self-esteem, the relationship quickly skewed.
Excessive expectations of the parties shall have with him or her a distress , The result is increased gradually. Psychological violence begins at the moment when the unrealistic expectations of the partner, the reality of life superimposed sensitive. Everyday problems, occupational requirements, and children can obscure the focus on actually to be held and entitled to expected quality of a relationship. The financial situation of dependence and habit and convenience aspects of their remaining to aggravate the situation and creating a vicious circle.
indifference and unreal entitlement
There are many ways to promote emotional violence in relationships. But basically it's growing indifference towards the partner and excessive claims and one-sided domination that give rise to suffering. A dominant partner can quickly develop an unauthorized possession claim. Derived from the self-remove the other piece by piece, without the person realized it first of all.
According to studies of moral violence the victims themselves often do not recognize the most obvious atrocities true identity of the perpetrator. They close their partners as a triggering moment from the start. Give all possible environmental factors to blame for their progressively worse nascent spiritual being. Women in particular tend to be a partially incredibly long ordeal to take on. Refuge unconscious in mental and physical illnesses and are not the real situation.
beginnings emotional violence in relationships
depending on personal constitution and mental stability may be the perceived pain level for mental injuries caused by the partner positioned quite differently. For emfindliche and very sensitive people have enough minor remarks and conduct, to cause mental pain. More robust natures often make mental attacks for years hardly true. But the collapse in the advanced stage is often more painful.
It can start with ruthlessness. To the needs and interests of the partner is received increasingly less and less. The respect is lost. Agreements are not respected. It is criticized inappropriate. The sense of cohesion crumbles. It imposes the partner with overall responsibility for areas such as household, child, or is economically dependent on that should be fair to share.
examples of violence in relationships
first A couple married at a young age, she and he lean and dynamic, full of dreams and future ideals. The woman has children, in pregnancy it increases. The social pressure is for a overweight women already unreasonably high, because obesity is in today's fast equated with laziness, lack of exercise and laziness. Comes now the incessant criticism of her husband added, to be too thick, the emotional suffering of women is growing significantly. One is traveling together, the man looks noticeably after younger, slimmer and provocatively dressed other women. Comments and criticism of his wife are increasingly callous and inappropriate. The spiral of mental violence begins to turn.
second A man takes care professional for shared living, the woman is a housewife and mother at home. She gives her husband continuously to understand by the comments, statements and practices that they disagree with their common living standard is satisfied. She wants more and more, as both can afford. Her husband gets increasingly to deny the feeling. His mental suffering grows. In an effort to solve problems can lead to debt and overwork. The partners drift apart. Only the bourgeois facade is preserved.
third A woman has in her first marriage hopelessly in debt. A would-be rescuers turns up, takes the financial burden and occurs as a new significant other in her life. From the resulting dependence he leads more indicators developed from claims, control addictions and torments his partner with permanent paternalism. Because of financial dependence and their child to be supplied from the first marriage the woman who dares not to resolve the relationship. Your suffering is growing constantly and the mental cruelty on the rise.
It develops mental illness, is increasingly losing the real points of reference. Nevertheless, it is even after many years still unable to resolve the conflict. It defends itself only partially by temporary escape. After several years, escalated in this relationship, physical violence. The man is under his control indicators madness palpable. The woman flees into unreal Visions of her supposedly perfect life partner.
She hopes if only end the violence attacks were, they would have an ideal relationship. It is increasingly no longer in a position to assess the risk to body and soul at all appropriate. Claims, even after many years in this unbearable for outsiders perceived situation to love this man. Slips in the suicide risk and includes inwardly from their lives. Are themselves to blame for the abuses of her husband because she thinks that cause this fault.
The perpetrator, her partner thinks, in the right. He criticized his partner incessantly. The relationship is used to solitary confinement. The environment played a facade that does not exist in reality. In time, both partners develop serious personality disorders. The physical attacks are rare, however, the increase in alcohol dependence of the man always violent. Although the woman now recognizes the danger to life, she is not ready for a separation.
4th A man learns during a holiday trip, a woman from Eastern Europe and falls. While she has completed a demanding program, he is a laborer. The level difference between them is considerable. Only they see it as an opportunity and is in love. Both get married and move to Germany together. Having children. He denied her training opportunities. She works occasionally as an auxiliary force. He orders her around, asked housework and cooking and child care to their complete satisfaction. He poses as utilities, manipulated and suppressed them.
The woman has low self-esteem, she suffers greatly after a few years under her husband is gone Every feeling of love. Nevertheless, she stays with him. More than 30 years of marriage to take this already. Once at the top above all the psychological terror in the foreground, it finds it increasingly older and more senile Werdermann entitled to beat her occasionally. Instead of fleeing, she developed mental disorders and addictions. In interviews they defended portrays her husband that she will not leave him out of pity could have. They also developed over the years strong fears of him. It is believed he would kill her if he leaves. It has no clear position, no more distance from the unbearable marriage. A separation of her does not seem to imagine.
opportunities for victims of mental and physical violence
The list of real examples, which are known to me, I could continue for many pages. For many years people have entrusted to me in this situation. More than listening, I can not even mostly. Because help is always only one way to help themselves. And self-knowledge and willingness to help problem is to solve the problem ahead of the party involved. So I had to endure many times that certain situations are known to me, but I can not really influence.
But now I have learned that active listening is fair and effective means of help already. Because in the speech, confiding and sharing of such situations is for the suspect also had a chance of self-knowledge and making it the first way out of the conflict. In most cases, the affected sub-consciously know quite exactly what it would be possible solutions. Only they do not dare even to think of it. It helps to
affected my experience at the best value with a free listening. You do not necessarily get opinions, advice, or calls to action. You want in most cases only relieve simply by speaking once. That compared with only one man to whom they really trust and not just their problems all the more telling and thus reveals their innermost conflicts.
be as concerned or interested party is not in a position to talk about it or knows of his friends, family or friends no one to whom you really want to trust this inner problems, maybe you should just start writing down all the charges once. Or anonymous Council exchange and looking at an Internet forum.
No one has the right to a man inflict psychological or even physical violence .
In any case, the partner is entitled to do so. The need to be concerned really clear. This fact is recognized once sufficient results in the logical consequences of itself is neither painful nor culpable to be victims. And the perpetrators often develop a self-righteousness, to sell herself as a victim, that is simply disgusting. The open and fair discussion is the most important step to free yourself from the cycle of violence in a relationship.
I could at this point to many references to counseling services, therapeutic aids, self-help, etc. . Give But I give myself. In the context of search engines place a lot of seriously interested in such information on the Internet, listen regionally popular.
My purpose is simply to encourage interested parties to speak. In talking with a trusted person. to organize my own thoughts, feelings and sensations. To trust. to use call options.
And please do not with the perpetrator. But having a very distant person who is not involved in the situation. A foreign view is more helpful. Learn to respect themselves and to like it again. Life is too short for such despicable methods of treatment. No woman or man deserves to be treated by the partner.
The debt question was raised at all in such cases. The fact in itself is simply not acceptable. Many victims believe that they have themselves to blame. Not to meet the claims. To be inferior. That is not easy.
Only consistent and final separation is on violence in relationships and the consequent suffering, whether emotionally or physically, the right step. Everything else only prolongs the suffering unnecessarily.
There is always a way out and light at the end of the tunnel .
Only you have that as a concerned party want to see way out and show some courage. The systematic demolition of such relations is the best way. Go ahead and not look back. Life is unique and beautiful, if you want to enjoy it only respectful to yourself. The worst betrayal is the betrayal of himself and financial reasons such unbearable to sustain life is exclusively self-betrayal.
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